FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he fucked my hip out of place.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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