so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
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