I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
