can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They have beer where we have blood.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
