i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
