I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
