9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
