Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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