But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
