If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I smell stomach acid.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
