would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
