She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
