Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
