Don't you send me to vm
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
