It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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