My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
