Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
