That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
