This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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