I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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