Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Randomize
