my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
