we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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