And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
