I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
