You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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