he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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