i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
