Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
