I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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