I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
