My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
be right there i have to get my cape
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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