so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
