Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
