No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
