He told me they were just razor bumps!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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