If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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