So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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