Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am naked and annoyed.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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