under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Operation Purity has been aborted
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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