my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
