what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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