from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
