dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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