fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
