Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
