Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
