dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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