I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
