I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
