i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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