aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
