Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
