Betty ford says i'm here all night
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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