i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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