but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
