I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
