ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
