Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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